Updated: Sep 12, 2020
I read a wonderful excerpt of Eula Biss's new book (you can read the excerpt here), and it inspired me to put down some of my own thoughts.
Home Is certainly where the heart is. The COVID storm has prevented my hubby and I to both go back HOME to visit.
But we are very thankful for our HOME in Sunny, hot Phoenix AZ. Our simple, small House... that is a very big Home!
I have SIMPLE signs up all around our home. 'Simple Is Good', 'Live Simply', 'The Simple Life'. We eat simple, healthy meals. We drive basic cars, both of which are paid-off. And Park & I strategically put a simple, 1950's-style financial plan into action a couple of years ago.
All of this has allowed us to achieve many goals, both personal and financial. (Yes, I was making a funny at the start of my last Blog about subliminally sending messages to my hubby to get me diamonds for Christmas this year. But look up "frugal" in the dictionary and you will see a picture of Park and I !!!)
I also referred in my last blog to the Silhouette-y De Beers diamond Commercials of the 90's. Do any of you remember those? A couple of weeks ago, I bought this bottle of SIMPLE LIFE rose wine for our 5 year anniversary. I thought, "wow, perfect, a silhouette of a couple on the bench. You can almost hear that classic music in those commercials ... da-da da-da, da-da-da-da. da-da da-da, da-da-da-da."
And this brings me back to Eula Biss' new book, and one of its themes about the dichotomy of 'wanting' a house ('owning', not renting) to feel settled down and secure ... but yet at the same time, feeling a bit 'had' by the house - financially.
When I ran across one of the essays from her new book in the New Yorker - "A House Is Not A Home" - I laughed right out loud when I read the following snippet ... Just as she and her husband were beginning to paint a room (after deliberating about exactly what shade of white to paint the walls), he first drew the outline of her silhouette projected onto the wall from a big light they had in the middle of the room, and then she did one of him ... with their shadows holding hands.
I wonder if they heard a faint ... da-da da-da, da-da-da-da. da-da da-da, da-da-da-da. ... in the background of this romantic moment?
Biss's book title "Having and Being Had" reminded me of a poem I wrote way back in 11/22/90. I think I must have been a little blue after hearing a De Beers commercial in the background ... (da-da da-da, da-da-da-da. da-da da-da, da-da-da-da.) ... I was 21 (single) and had just purchased a Condo ...
Mortgage vs. Marriage 11/22/90
These two words, similar in sound
They both are binding
And fluctuate up and down
The both start in “M’
Their endings far from sight
They both finish with Age
And can bring success or plight
I have chosen word One
For this, I can do Alone
Word Two involves a Partner
Who invites and takes me Home
I am at the mercy of the second word
With the first I’m the Boss
The second is the choice to Share…
Real Love At All Cost
I also laughed at Biss's comment that when she was 'attempting' to truly read all the closing documents. That effort was lost and, in essence, her closing was merely an autograph signing.
When I bought my Condo I worked, for the builder and the title company was in the same office building. I did read my documents and about fell off my chair when I saw that I was being classified as a SPINSTER!
I REFUSED to sign that page. I did NOT receive with Simplicity this statement. I made the title company white it out and type over it with the words:
"a single person never having been married"! (And clearly I wasn't the only one to feel insulted by being labeled a spinster )
"Having and Being Had", by Eula Biss just published 9/1/20, will be a best seller I'm sure! I support the Arts more than Capitalism, but this is a $26 item I can rationalize purchasing, that is, when the budget allows the second half of this month.
I can actually get it for $19.90 "right now" on Amazon with our Prime Membership. I could get it for 'free' if I sign up for the Audible Trial on Amazon and then listen to the book, then cancel the trial, and would have beat the system completely. But as I stated prior, I do support the Arts more than Capitalism, so I need to support this Artist and (ironically) buy her book.
My last Blog's topic of me being 'just fine' with Holiday bric a brac out already in Mid August (picture again that Home Alone face) was only because of the SPIRIT it's bringing me already, this year in particular! Park and I have so much to be Thankful for in 2020!
Marriage is a TRUE Partnership. I have that now for 5 years! Park and I have the same thoughts and values on money and not falling prey to the Marginal Propensity To Consume. We've put our heart and souls (and some money too) into A432 Life, Inc. but LIVING SIMPLY so that our resources, mainly time, are allocated to our A432 Life initiatives... all still while still paying the Mortgage for this house that is our HOME...
Until next week,
Having and Being Had, by Eula Biss, is out September 1st from Riverhead.